


We Never Say Goodbye

by annunziatina



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, International Fanworks Day 2019, M/M, museum kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-29 00:50:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17797943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annunziatina/pseuds/annunziatina
Summary: Guerin's history of moving foster homes has made it difficult to say goodbye, but now it's Alex's turn to bear the pain of the words.





	We Never Say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Spoiler/Warning: origin flashback of Alex (Tyler's) forehead scar; skateboarding accident; mention of blood

A galaxy of light and shadow swirled above Michael in the otherwise empty planetarium. The projector turned the picture so slowly that time within the dome seemed to stand still. 

He held the railing that separated the rounded stage from the chairs of the audience and tipped his head back. Even with his eyes closed, he knew the scene, the colors. 

When Max had taken up a job at the UFO museum, Michael thought, _Too easy_. So, he applied for work at the fancy schmancy Art and Culture Museum to prove he could do one better. Michael hadn’t expected to find one of his favorite places here. 

Michael heard Alex’s steps behind him before his voice, but made no indication of noticing either until Alex’s hand was on his sleeve. 

“You left again,” Alex repeated, softer this time. 

Michael dropped his chin to his chest before looking over. Rust from the railing chipped under Alex’s nails and fell like dust to the floor. When Alex peeked through his eyelashes, Michael’s grip on the railing tightened. 

“I made a promise,” Michael reminded him gently. “I’d never say goodbye to you.” 

The air between them lost its oxygen and Michael was grateful to have gotten out that much. He didn’t want to say more. Not yet. Not when his thoughts hadn’t been sorted and his anger toward Alex’s father was still so fresh.

Alex struggled for air as well. He turned to the audience to fill his lungs with air that wasn’t vibrating with the tension of decisions made for him. Decision that had been made by the generations of Manes men that came before. 

“That’s the problem,” Alex whispered. “You never do. You leave without warning. You’re gone and I’m-” _Alone. Floored._ Alex knew he was being unfair placing blame where there was none. He knew this wasn’t the conversation they needed to have, but it was what they could manage.

“Next time I go, I’m taking you with me.” Michael sounded so sure.

Alex’s heart dropped and jumped and stuck in his throat. _He doesn’t know?_ Where Alex was going, Michael wouldn’t - _couldn’t_ \- follow. “Michael I got accept-”

“I heard.” 

Alex’s face fell; it was a matter of duty. _To family; to country_ , his grandfather, father, and brothers had been telling him for as long as he could remember. The men in his family had been enlisting in the military since pre-World War I and were some of the first men to found the modern Air Force after the Roswell UFO incident. 

“I have to.” Alex leaned closer to Michael, hoping for a bit of comfort even though he didn’t think he deserved it.

“You don’t have to,” Michael’s voice broke as his boyfriend’s weight settled against his side, “but you will.” He dropped a kiss to Alex’s shoulder. No matter how frustrated, how heartbroken, he’d never deny Alex his affection.

“Michael.” Alex turned and brought his hand to Michael’s arm, but he couldn’t meet his eyes. Not yet.

“Say it again.” 

The projector clicked and the image above them changed. It cast new shadows over their faces and when Alex finally looked up, he saw the cracks in the confident mask Michael usually wore.

Alex wanted to reach up to Michael’s face, trace the line of his jaw and the wrinkle above his nose. He wanted to kiss away the worry - speak assurances that everything would be alright. Alex wanted to be the one to take care of Michael like he had done so often for him. “What do you want me to say?”

“My name.”

“Mic-” 

The press of Michael’s thumb on Alex’s mouth cut him off. Michael brushed his thumb over Alex’s mouth, eliciting a gasp from Alex’s lips as they parted.

On his exhale, Alex spoke his name in full. “Michael.” With a burst of confidence and desperation, Alex cradled Michael’s neck with trembling hands. He glanced from Michael’s eyes to his lips and slowly pulled him in.

The touch of lips was lingering, chaste, and a perfect beginning.

“Four years.” Michael nuzzled Alex’s cheek before pressing a hard kiss to his forehead. He kissed the scar that reminded them how dangerous life could be even when they thought they were having fun. The scar that reminded them of the night of skateboards and beer and laughter and a first kiss. The night that had ended in a bad landing. The night that had almost ended everything. He pressed kiss after kiss on the scar that still scared the crap out of both of them. 

Alex remembered what Michael had told him then, about pain. Michael’s mantra. 

 

_Alex had heard Michael’s shout before the ground rushed up to meet him. Then all the world had turned to dark and pain._

_Heavy footsteps slapped the pavement before skidding to a stop at his side. “Alex. Alex.” The word repeated - syllables without meaning - until he rolled himself onto his back._

_“You’re Ok.”_

_It wasn’t a question. It wasn’t the truth. Alex was flat on his back, an incessant throbbing behind his eyes; the lamplight was too bright to open them._

_Alex shielded himself with an arm, ignoring the pebbled asphalt that fell from his shirt, but Michael insisted, “It’s nothing.”_

_He helped Alex to a seated position. Propped against the railing that had contributed to his spectacular wipeout, Alex lifted his hand to his forehead._

_“It’s nothing,” Michael said again, intercepting Alex’s wrist before he could touch the point from which all pain in his head seemed to radiate._

_Alex tried with his other and Michael didn’t stop him. Alex’s hand came back wet and warm. “I’m bleeding?”_

_“It’ll stop,” Michael whispered over Alex’s frantic gasps. “I promise.”_

_“It hurts.” Alex squeezed his eyes to shut out the pain._

_“You’re Ok.” There was a thud as Michael’s backpack landed on the ground between them._

_Gentle fingers combed the matted hair from Alex’s forehead. Trembling hands held his head in place._

_“You’re Ok.”_

_Alex sat confused at the zip of the bag, certain Michael hadn’t let him go._

_Peroxide misted over the wound; Alex hissed and swore. The sting was enough to startle him out of his daze._

_Michael tipped up Alex’s chin and caught his eye. “It’s nothing.”_

_Alex didn’t understand how Michael could keep saying that while there was blood smeared over their shirts and a throb in his head like he couldn’t believe. Alex saw it then, the tremor in Michael’s shoulders as he cleaned the wound in careful, delicate dabs. Alex knew; Michael was trying to convince himself._

_Alex grit his teeth and swallowed hard. “It’s nothing.”_

_“You’re going to be Ok.”_

_“I’m going to be Ok,” Alex said as steadily as he could manage, trying to be strong enough for both of them. A new trail of warmth slipped down his nose. His lip felt wet. He tasted metal. “It’s going to be Ok.”_

 

Alex considered the time they’d spend apart: a few weeks in basic military training, deployments three to six months at a time, a minimum commitment of less than a handful of years. 

“It’s nothing,” he said and he thought he could believe it, as long as Michael did.

But Michael’s hand closed in a fist at the base of Alex’s skull. His words dropped off into silence as he voiced Alex’s commitment to the Air Force. “It’s _four years_.”

Alex pulled back just enough to see Michael’s face in better light. _No person so loved should ever look so sad_ , he thought. Alex had to bite his lips to still their quiver. 

Alex didn’t know why he was hiding when it was clear from Michael’s glassy eyes his boyfriend was just as close to tears as he was. With a touch under Michael’s chin, Alex guided him in for a second kiss. The return was eager and full. Michael’s fingers raked over Alex’s shoulders and clung to his back. Michael wound his arms around Alex, holding him tightly, and Alex prayed for time to stop.

They broke the kiss, breathless but clinging to each other. Michael met Alex’s gaze one last time. His cheeks were dry, but a single blink could change that. “See ya, Private.”

Alex sank against the railing, looking up at the constellations turning above. He couldn’t bear to watch Michael’s back as he walked away. He didn’t give a shit about correcting Michael about his rank. The clock on the wall marked the seconds at an agonizing pace. 

_Four years._ Alex reminded himself. It wasn’t a lifetime commitment; he wouldn’t let it be. The Air Force would pay for his education. He’d gain the resources and experience to start a life independent of his father’s influence. He and Michael could get out of Roswell, together. 

“Four years,” he spoke into the empty dome. “It’s nothing.” Even to himself, he sounded unconvinced. Alex touched his forehead, his lips, and scrubbed his hand over his face to banish his tears. “It’s nothing.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :).


End file.
